| holy smokes! |
[Monday
December 26th, 2005 at
5:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
10 years - waking up |
] |
wow its been hella long since i updated this damn thing hahaha..where to start where to start..hmm, well lets see begining of the month we can start from there but yea i got with someone and we kept it on the downlow for some reasons but yea then almost around xmas we broke up cause of me as always i seem to be the fuck up in relationships..i let the littlest thing break us apart but eh some of it was her to telling me she wanted me one day all day and then gets on some other dudes nuts? i mean wth is that shit but eh i dont let no one know how i feel cause of how i was done before and it always happens to me. got a job and work at wally world.. i dont work much cause of my dieases but yea i gotta get some cash somewhere hahaha..but yea life sucks in all general lost someone i love and care for alot more then anyone else on here and ha i spent 2 years with someoen but thye dont even compare to this girl she was the best but life goes on and i gota be strong and let her be happy thats what i want most is for me ot know shes gonna have a smile on her face when she goes to bed even tho it isnt me..hmm what else
oh today i went to the hospital cause of shit that happen at work
i was lift some shit and my back went out and a few shit fell on top of me and i thought i broke my arm and hand but i unno yet kinda left the hospital way before i was told to but i think ill be ok got some pain pills thos i could o'd on them if i want to go ahead and end it which in honest truth i have thought bout it alot lately...ive tried to talk to other girls to keep my mine off her but little things, songs,pics,memories,thoughts just bring me running back ot her but eh maybe one day ill be strong enoughfor non of it to effect me but thats all i gotta say so yea have fun reading my bullshit
|
|
| all this time ive waited, never seemed to change your mind |
[Saturday
November 19th, 2005 at
3:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
staind - right here |
] |
wow its funny how someone tells you they love you and actually never did and dont admit it to your face they have to put it in this bullshit..which is fine i rather read it on a livejournal then be crushed from hearing it from ya voice or through a convo..but yea my feelings for you was actually REAL but you cant say the same..like ive told everyone i knew you would go back to him and miss him and all that other shit bout him in the end i was right..all i know is i just wish i coudl go back in time and wish that friday night i asked you out never happened, cause then i wouldnt feel the pain now the pain that makes me want to end it all..i used to think out of the year i liked you i never thought love would come to mind and my feelings of never letting go be here like they are but for me to be strong is laugh it off and not look back..we had that talk bout what would make me hate you..haha well you done it and now i can say i honestly hate you..i dont want to but that shit happening even tho i knew it would happen i tried to make sure it didnt and it did..but oh well all i gotta say is i hate this and hate you for it...you hurt me for the last time..now im going to walk away and not look back..sorry to say this but im not longer going to be there...so i hope you enjoyed this pain you gave me..dry your tears and say goodbye.
|
|
|
[Monday
November 7th, 2005 at
8:43pm] |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cole_geeks's journal